Shania Roeder ♣JF

(Not sure if this thing has hashtags) I'm a #FalPal, #MariskaKnight, and music freak! I love tv and movies! Joining tumblr to look at others tumblr's. So yeah! Not sure how it even works or how it is supposed to be. Oh, well. I'm gonna try it. So if I mess up. It ain't my fault!


Why is there no ‘I’m asexual and against bullying’ or ‘I’m aromantic and against bullying’ posters? Glaad, you need to step it up.

(via blazinaces)

There are things I keep inside
Things I’ve locked up
In hopes of never having to face
What I fear above all else

Tearing me apart
From the inside
I’m finally starting to go cold
Lingering in the shadows
it cannot hide
The demon inside

I manage to avoid them
What reminds me of my own weakness
Of things I cannot control
Things out of my reach

But when I am confronted directly
I cannot erect walls quickly enough
Paralyzed by fear of an inescapable past
I can only cower before them

Here, I a reduced to this
A helpless crying child
Unable to face this reality
Instead I shut down emotionally

I implode as the fear overwhelms me
Because of this
I cannot conquer them
I cannot even move

I cannot save myself



I have finally hit my breaking point. For as long as I can remember I have endured my mother’s abuse, whether it is verbal, emotional, or as seen here physical. I can expect some act of violence on a daily basis, and her beating me is not an usual occurrence, but today something snapped. My mother did this unprovoked, and this time she didn’t stop. Usually it’s bad for a little while and then she’s done, today it went on for what seemed like forever. At a certain point I decided I was going to do something I never do, call the police. You see, my mother is a highly respected and very well known person where I live. She is on the board of ed, worked for CPS for many years, and is close personal friends with people like the local chief of police, director of our local CPS unit, and so on. I always knew that calling wouldn’t go anywhere and just upset her more, but today I had to try. While she was kicking me I found my opportunity, and somehow managed to get away from someone more than twice my size. I ran as fast as I could, knocking things over behind my, trying to find a phone. I dialed and they listened and my mother proceeding to beat me over it, while I screamed for help. For the second time today, I managed to get away from her and ran to my room. I barely had enough time to lock my door, before she starting trying to get it, to the point that she ripped my door off the frame. I decided I was going to stay locked in there, until the police came. The past few months I have been collecting evidence against her, voice recordings, pictures like these, and videos of her violence, so they couldn’t dispute what was going on. But I was dead wrong. 

When the officer finally came up to my room, I attempted to tell him my side of the story, but before I could get a sentence out he silenced me. HE told me that this was my mothers house, and I needed to live by her rules. If I didn’t she had the right to punish me. He also told me to be tankful for her, because he wanted to press assault charges against me. finally, he refused, despite my begging, for him to take me to a shelter for teens. 

I am utterly disgusted by the injustice that occurred today. I pray there is no one else out there who is living in such a situation. I am not sure exactly what I am getting out of writing this, except maybe that it’s just nice to be able to open up about this, when I have had to keep it a secret my whole life. idk. sorry for posting such heavy shit. 

Signal boost the fuck out of this

(Source: kosmological, via pizza-and-puppies)